Saturday, September 02, 2006
Green Thang:Chapter one, Horribly Horrendous Holiday.
Once upon a time, there was a little green alien from one of the… oops, sorry, from the ONLY planet of Omega Minimus, a small and apparently insignificant star. He was a pretty rich little guy. (By that, I mean he was rich, and little. Not pretty.) The planet’s name, you ask? Something unpronounceable, I assure you. Let’s call it “Little Green Planet,” shall we?
Back to our subject. The little green alien was on a holiday- a tour of faraway stars, and whatever else he might see on the way was an unexpected bonus, unless the thing he was looking at was considerable in size and on a collision course with him. It so happened that this particular little green alien’s tour included a fly-by of the Sun- yes, our very own Sol. His holiday was great; he was alone, just the way he liked it. He’d paid for the finest, and the finest was what he’d got. He saw many stars- the Universe Beckons Travel Agency didn’t skimp on the well-paying customers; they made it a galaxy tour for him. The sights! Quasars and pulsars and black holes (not too close, now) and other galaxies and white dwarfs and red giants, and… I do realize you can’t really classify pulsars and black holes as sights, since one can’t see radio waves or the disappearance of matter, but they were there under “sights”, just in case.
Where it all began to go wrong was somewhere around the sun. The little green alien found it a bit chilly, so he searched for the appropriate controls for cooling, and set them to “warm”. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t the cooling control for the cabin temperature, but engine temperature. Without sufficient warning, everything began to go wrong. The onboard computer detected the nearest unintelligent beings on a little blue-colored planet quite close to the sun. the reason it did this was simple- unintelligent beings asked a lot of questions, but never managed to get the right answers- only ambiguous ones.
What happens next? Does our hero survive the ordeal of his crash, only to find a far worse ordeal- humans? Will he break down under the strain to think unintelligently?
Back to our subject. The little green alien was on a holiday- a tour of faraway stars, and whatever else he might see on the way was an unexpected bonus, unless the thing he was looking at was considerable in size and on a collision course with him. It so happened that this particular little green alien’s tour included a fly-by of the Sun- yes, our very own Sol. His holiday was great; he was alone, just the way he liked it. He’d paid for the finest, and the finest was what he’d got. He saw many stars- the Universe Beckons Travel Agency didn’t skimp on the well-paying customers; they made it a galaxy tour for him. The sights! Quasars and pulsars and black holes (not too close, now) and other galaxies and white dwarfs and red giants, and… I do realize you can’t really classify pulsars and black holes as sights, since one can’t see radio waves or the disappearance of matter, but they were there under “sights”, just in case.
Where it all began to go wrong was somewhere around the sun. The little green alien found it a bit chilly, so he searched for the appropriate controls for cooling, and set them to “warm”. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t the cooling control for the cabin temperature, but engine temperature. Without sufficient warning, everything began to go wrong. The onboard computer detected the nearest unintelligent beings on a little blue-colored planet quite close to the sun. the reason it did this was simple- unintelligent beings asked a lot of questions, but never managed to get the right answers- only ambiguous ones.
What happens next? Does our hero survive the ordeal of his crash, only to find a far worse ordeal- humans? Will he break down under the strain to think unintelligently?
# posted by General Disarray @ 3:52 AM 
